MAGA Christmas Carol

What do you tell a five-year-old who wakes up to an empty Christmas tree? Blame the immigrants, obviously.

Little Charlie Peterson just wanted a LEGO Millennium Falcon. Instead he got a front-row seat to his family's holiday celebration of tariffs, boat sinkings and the glorious renaming of the Washington Monument, as the adults deliver tearful testimonials to their favorite president and explain why a ruling that presidents can't be prosecuted is good news for everyone. He can't figure out why gas costs seven dollars when his dad's shirt says "Mean Tweets, Low Prices."

A satire in the tradition of holiday fables from Dickens to Dr. Seuss, where the most dangerous question is the one a kindergartner asks at dinner: But why?

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